This is another post about childbirth. A passionate subject of mine. Sometimes I get really tired of trying to be politically correct about trying to not alienate moms. Sometimes I want to shake a person that I’m talking to and just yell, “Really!!!!!”
People tell me that they appreciate me not being all or nothing when it comes to childbirth. They think that I don’t judge. I do judge, everyday. It is an internal struggle for me. I try to stay calm, keep a smile on my face and only be positive with my words. However, here are some of the things that are going on in my head, my truly insensitive, very judgemental head….
“I really don’t feel sorry for you that the doctor wouldn’t allow you to have pain medication…I did it without and it wasn’t that bad.”
“You freaking choose to be induced, do you really want me to feel sorry for you that you had a c-section?”
“You really believe that the baby was too big to push out?”
“Oh Doctor So-And-So said that you had to have the emergency c-section either today or tomorrow? Wow, that sounds like a true emergency.”
“You don’t completely trust your doctor, but you won’t switch because you really like their personality?”
“You couldn’t push the baby out?….So you had your kid’s head suctioned out. No, the epidural would never have caused that. (Eye roll)”
“You’re scared of childbirth, yet the only thing you’ve done to prepare for the birth is to decorate the babies room.”
“I’m not brave for having a homebirth…You’re brave for going to the hospital. Good luck with your interventions.”
“You’re doctor won’t let you birth in any position. Then fire them.”
“Sorry about the episiotomy and vacuum extraction. Do you think that would have happened if you had just let the baby come on it’s own time?”
“I could care less if you had an epidural. My goal for women in this town is just to avoid a c-section. Good luck with that though. One in three women in this town have a c-section.”
“If you had a home birth, you wouldn’t have had all of that crap happen to you.”
I feel like a hypocrite when people tell me that I am so kind to them about their birth stories. I do have people give me crap about, oh, women need to be nicer to one another, they shouldn’t judge each other’s experiences. But yet, I feel that they are judging me and my choices. I had two home births because I didn’t want someone telling me how to birth, where to birth, and when to birth. If you want to have an epidural, go for it. Just don’t tell me that I can’t birth without drugs. If you want to schedule your birth, then do it, but please don’t look to me for sympathy when your doctor tells you that the baby is not doing well and you need to have a c-section.
I cannot comprehend the fear that people have when it comes to birth. I do not understand the need for the drugs. I do not understand why I should be respectful of someone just because they have a degree and have malpractice insurance to pay when they don’t respect that a woman’s body is sacred and shouldn’t be controlled. Enough with my rant.