Milk Pumper

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Today at work I had two awkward yet funny conversations.

I was going to lunch with four guys I work with. I have a blue green Patagonia backpack purse that I wear every day. One of the guys asked while he pointed his finger behind me, “So you are bringing your milk pumper to lunch?”

Me: “Ummm, what?”

Him: “Your milk pumper.”

Me: “What are you talking about?”

Him: “Your bag on your back…. that is your milk pumper right?”

I start cracking up and say, “No, that’s my purse, I haven’t pumped in quite a while and why would I bring a breast pump to lunch?”

The other guys in the elevator are cracking up but trying not to let me see it. I had a big grin on my face and was going to have fun embarrassing them.

We get outside and I said, “I thought you said milk pumper, however it’s called a breast pump. I know, you probably didn’t want to feel awkward and say the word breast at work. What I was more confused about, was that I thought you gestured at the other guys in the elevator and they are definitely not my “milk pumpers.”

They all got a laugh out of that and we headed off to the lunch buffet. They did proceed to ask me a few more questions about pumping breast milk and did I do that at work? Some were shocked that I did and that it was in such close proximity to where they sit. I told them about the lockable storage closet that I used that only had one key. The conversation continued on and I eventually tried to re-direct because even I can only handle so much conversation in regards to breast milk. I was paranoid that they were going to start checking out my chest, which tends to happen if I mention that I have breastfed my children, especially around guys.

After lunch I decided to ask my co-worker that sits right next to me if any of the other people in our department suspected that I was pregnant. My immediate supervisor, the guy that sits next to me and our section manager all know that I’m expecting. My co-worker informed me that yes, one of them suspected. I asked how and he eluded to the fact that they had had a private conversation while they went and replenished their plates at the buffet. Honestly, I was a little embarrassed by his response, because apparently, my body doesn’t hide pregnancy as well as I thought it did. Sure my belly doesn’t look very big yet, but apparently a few other items grow very quickly. I guess I knew this, but it is sometimes hard for me to hear from others. I like to think that others don’t notice my rear end getting wider and my bras getting tighter. I was cracking up when he was telling me this stuff and of course the guy that had commented on my “new shape,” happened to walk by and I was rolling. Later though, I got a bit self-conscious and had to go examine myself in the women’s restroom. At least this is my third pregnancy and I know what to expect with my body. I know where the stretch marks will reappear; I know what those twinges are in my abdomen. I definitely know that my breasts are going to continue to grow until my milk comes in. At that point, I will look like I have two torpedoes strapped to my chest, and yes, I have pictures of myself right after my milk came in with Nicholas. Holy cow, they were large.

So today was a funny day of conversations, all about my breasts. 🙂


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