I’ve been singing the praises of having a doula for a couple of years now. Funny thing is I’ve never had one at my birth. When pregnant with Liam, I figured that by having a home birth I really didn’t need one. The midwife had her apprentices and I thought that would be good enough and it was for that birth. I don’t remember the apprentice’s name now; she only attended a few of my prenatal appointments. At the birth, all I remember is her asking if I wanted her to take photos of the birth (I said no, I wish I would have said yes in hindsight), and her doing the most glorious thing, a hip squeeze. She tried teaching the double hip squeeze to my husband, but I think he was afraid that he would hurt me if he pushed too hard.
With the second home birth, none of the midwives apprentices ever showed up to any of my prenatal appointments. I guess I scheduled them too late in the day and they were already home with their families by that point. I didn’t really worry about having a doula again, because I figured my husband would be there and he would know what to do the second time around. Thankfully, he was a wonderful doula, although with doing other prep work during the birth and keeping Liam occupied, he wasn’t able to be in the room with me the entire time. Fortunately, the birth was short and he was able to come during a pressure wave and then leave to do whatever he was doing. He would run back in the room when he heard me call for him. The midwife didn’t make it in time for the birth, but it was perfect for us.
For this birth, I’ve decided that I would like a doula to be there and luckily, my good friend Amy the doula has said yes. She lives about seven minutes away, so hopefully I will call her in time to be there. Figuring out when to call my birth team will be the hardest thing for me this time. With Nicholas, I called my mom to come on a Thursday and sent her home on Sunday because nothing was happening. Nick came the next morning on Monday. I had such an easy early birthing time that I was in denial that it was the real thing, so my midwife had a hard time gauging when she should come, so missed the very quick birth.
I get anxious just thinking about having to call people this time. I want people there, but I also want the same experience I had with Nick. It was so awesome. Having two boys at home, I know my husband will appreciate the help of a doula for this birth. I think my friend Amy, thinks I’m super awesome in birth, hopefully she won’t be disappointed. I’m a lot louder than I think she expects and I’m not always as calm, cool and collected as she may think. It’s hard too, people have heard Liam and Nick’s birth stories, and so they may have expectations in their head on how things will go. I have no idea how this third birth will be and I have to remind myself that I’m not putting on a show. I will have to birth in whatever way this baby demands. I will use Hypnobabies again and I hope to have another water birth, but I know that the baby will determine a lot.
I would also love to have a birth photographer there, but that is too much pressure for me. Mainly, I don’t know when to call them to the birth. What if you call them too early, or too late? Maybe I should just train Liam on how to use a point and shoot camera. I bet he would get some pretty awesome and unique shots. Also, I don’t think I could really afford a birth photographer. Most of the time, photographers don’t charge enough for their services and being on call really should be an extra fee for them. Maybe I will actually remember to turn on the video camera this time so that I could get a little bit of footage.