Life

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So in two weeks, I may or may not get back on Facebook.

At the moment, in my massive mood swings of pregnancy hormones, I’m not sure I want to bother with cyber Facebook friendships or even real life friendships, at least the ones here in town.

While I’ve been away from Facebook, I’ve had a handful of friends that I’ve interacted with via e-mail or message boards, two on the phone and two friends in person.  I was really hoping that I would get to meet up with friends in person during the Facebook hiatus, but handful of times now, they’ve either been no shows or other plans on their part have come up. I’m having a bit of a pity party here if you can’t tell.  I want to hang out with my friends in real life, but I miss the days of walking down the street, knocking on my friends’ doors and seeing if they want to come out and play.  Instead, planning get togethers with friends is a continual scheduling hassle.  E-mails and phone calls to set up grown up play dates that rarely happen.  These are people that I want to see, but I’m just frustrated with the complexities of adulthood.  I have to laugh when I think about t.v. shows that depict grown ups hanging out all of the time with their friends.  That doesn’t happen when you get married and throw a few kids in the mix.

I have so many friends that would rather just text back and forth instead of picking up the phone.  Most would rather just keep tabs on my life by viewing pictures of my kids on Facebook or seeing my status updates.  Those things may be fine in moderation, but I’m sad to see that we can’t even take the time to have a cup of coffee at one another’s house. Honestly, I’ve kept in better touch in the past month with my friends that live hundreds and even thousands of miles away, than I have those that live in my own town.

Right now my own life feels like it is about to spin out of control.  Life is happening very quickly, the pregnancy aches are here in full force too. The aches are to the point that I’m in tears when walking down the street, even after a chiropractic adjustment. I cried at my chiropractor today because I was hurting so much and I was an emotional wreck.  I felt bad letting my tears fall in front of him. My husband is out-of-town three to four days a week, I have to wake my children at an unnatural hour for them, hear them cry and beg to go back to sleep, then I spend an hour and a half commuting to work and taking my kids to the sitters house, go to work at a job that I’m not enthusiastic about, have to endure polite conversation about my growing belly, see them trying to decide if they should ask if I’m pregnant and then have them examine me with their eyes as they try to guess the sex of the baby, another hour and a half commute to get my kids, then try to get my kids outside so they have at least an hour of outside play, make dinner, do baths, tell Liam his Jacob and the Bear story and crash hard before having to do it all again at 5:45 am.  I guess two things I can be thankful for  so far in pregnancy, I’m not having to get up and urinate every hour or having pregnancy induced insomnia.  The days that my husband is home, I’m rushing around trying to do all the things I couldn’t do without him here or teaching my last session of Hypnobabies before the baby comes.

We’re prepping our house for sale.  It is going to take a lot of work and I’m trying to do the bulk of the work before I get so big that I have to take tons of breaks because of my aching body. It’s something I dread and something that I really wish I could get tons of help from friends, but trying to schedule the help is another hassle that I think I would rather just keep visiting the chiropractor to fix the physical problems, rather than sit in a mess of tears because I feel like everyone is too busy help.

Tonight is one of those nights my husband is out of town.  It is bedtime and story time, bath time is being eliminated for the night.  They smell alright.  Hopefully the tears will stay away tonight.  I hate waking up with bloodshot eyes. I have to remember, this is all happening for a purpose, a plan, that has been taking years to happen.  I have to remember to be thankful.

Life.

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7 thoughts on “Life

    kmiller246 said:
    March 26, 2012 at 8:41 pm

    Wow, that was a lot. I’m sorry you’re sad and pregnancy hormones are making it worse. I agree people should see each other more in person. We did see each other once, besides hypnobabies and when you’re dropping off/picking up the boys. I think people in general don’t call as much nowadays because they never know if they’re interrupting (especially when you have kids). And sometimes calls don’t get returned anyway. I didn’t know all that was happening so fast for you guys…it seems to change a lot, and that makes things even harder. As you said, try to think of all you have to be thankful for. Bu it’s ok to have a pity party every now and then too- especially while you’re pregnant.

    Sandra said:
    March 27, 2012 at 1:45 am

    Oh, it’s not easy is it. I feel like you describe sometimes too, especially when my husband is out of town. My belly is quite big for 29 weeks, and quite frankly I get tired of people who see me every other day saying wow, you’re getting soooo big every single time they see me. Get as much rest as you can! Easier said than done, I know, but it does make a world of a difference. I hope you feel better soon and the house prepping goes smoothly. Thinking of you even though we don’t really know each other…

    thevfamily said:
    March 27, 2012 at 10:41 am

    Girl, life can be a witch sometimes (and I really wanted to use the other word ;O). I feel like we’re journeying a difficult path too right now, so although circumstances are different, I feel the exhaustion and sadness that comes with your time and place. I SO wish we were closer. I would love some chat time with you, for sure. But please come back to FB! I miss seeing all these birth articles and natural articles that I really enjoy but would not find on my own. Even if you don’t want to keep a personal page, make a professional page with your Hypnobabies stuff so that I can like it and get all these articles! :O)

    Hang in there! Love and prayers to you and your boys (and whatever gender you are working on growing to add into your family right now!)

      lahancock responded:
      March 27, 2012 at 10:57 am

      I’m so sorry Summer that your life has been having it’s ups and downs too. I think of you whenever I see the cross fit people running up and down the street when I leave work. You are my inspiration right now for after the baby comes. I hope you’re life plans are going to turn out awesome. I still remember our conversation last October about your possibilities. I hope that if God is putting that on your plate, it is a place you want to be. I’ve already told Liam that we will be closer to you guys in the very near future. I think it helps him know that he has friends in other places too.

        thevfamily said:
        March 28, 2012 at 9:17 pm

        Thanks for the kind words! Crossfit is actually one way I am surviving the life stress! Nothing like a little sweat and endorphines to boost your mood, right?

        Well, the possibility from October is not the one we are going with in the here and now. We do have some big changes coming up soon though. Nothing “secret” just too much to type and explain, although I do think a big blog post is in order soon.

        And did you say closer to me??? I need to know more. We’re actually moving in April (again!) and will be back in MJ, so we may be really close. I would love to have our boys play and to have an adult converstaion on the side 🙂

    Brenna Reynolds said:
    April 16, 2012 at 6:35 pm

    I really wished we lived closer together. You are the only friend from my youth who grew up to be as passionate about healthy, supported, natural birthing as I am. our lives are mirroring so closely right now (minus the current pregnancy) and I wish you were here to vent about it with over coffee or something ass the kids played. Which yea, rarely happens in our busy adult lives, but we need it. My daily schedule is amost exactly like yours and it’s exhausting. Siiiigh. I need your phone number. Or a plane ticket to Chattanooga.

      Brenna Reynolds said:
      April 16, 2012 at 6:39 pm

      And apparently spell check. AS the kids played lol, AS!

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