I miss the good old days of Halloween fun, the trick-or-treating with innocent eyes. I want to forget that the candy being handed out is laced with GMO’s and child labor chocolate. Why oh why can’t we just go back to the days of worrying about our candy having razor blades in them? Joking on that one and that was more of an urban legend, I think started by people that didn’t want to buy candy to hand out. Back when we were kids, I only remember adults worrying about our teeth falling out from sugar overload. You know what though, I was able to control myself. I didn’t eat my entire bag of candy. It was so much fun to organize and sort the yummy candy and the cheap ass candy, and the stupid ass raisin boxes. I do no like raisins and I will not hand them out. I loved the houses that would hand out entire candy bars. I thought those people must be extremely rich to do so. Some people would hand out spider rings or other such cheap Chinese made kitschy stuff, that now I don’t want in my house for the risks of lead poisoning and just general extra junk I’m trying to keep out.
I miss the days of being scared out of my mind walking through my childhood neighborhood and hearing a husband and wife screaming at one another and me and my friends hiding in a bush watching to see what was going to happen. Or running scared because you think someone is following you. Now, they have “Trunk or Treat,” to protect young children from actually meeting their true neighbors. The world is apparently full of pedophiles in every other house. I guess it’s safer to have kids in a parking lot smelling noxious gases while people stay warm in their cars and children get the same child labor candy out of the trunks of cars. Not all Trunk or Treat events occur in parking lots, some have even moved inside buildings because it is now unsafe to have children in the cold, where they might get sick from breathing in non-72 degree air.
I miss the days of people creating their own costumes from stuff around the house or thrift store. All the kids that come to my door look like Target vomited them up in their “all-look-the-same” super hero or princess costume. And guess, what? My kids have those costumes because I bought them at Target, the day after Halloween for a much more reasonable price. Call me a hypocrite, I know!!! Did you know they charge $30 and up for some of those crappily made costumes? Outrageous.
I love the articles in the news that talk about the nutritional content of candy. It’s kind of like a duh moment! Why even discuss the nutritional content of candy? It’s freaking candy, it’s not healthy. It shouldn’t even be news worthy.
Let’s just remember what Halloween is really about….having fun, scaring the crap out of little kids and gorging yourself on candy.
***If you didn’t catch it, I’m being a little snarky throughout this whole post. I just wish life as an adult didn’t come with so much knowledge. I really do miss the good ole days.