My fault

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You know, hormones and emotions sometimes really suck.  Suck big!  We are prepping our house to sell, hoping to get it on the market this month and I’m so sad to be moving.  I like our town and I don’t really like where we are moving to.  The new area is bigger but laid out weird.  The houses there are just not what I want and I fell very responsible for our financial state. It’s my fault that our income is cut in half.  It’s my fault that we are having to move.  It’s my fault that we are having to sell our house when the market is crap and we will have to sell for much less than what we originally bought it for.  I’m sad that we can’t stay here.  I have lots of friends here and of course, tonight when I thought I would get to see a bunch of these friends, my oldest gets a fever from my niece. Wham!  Plans shot and I get to stay home with a five year old that is pissed at me because he wants to go to the babysitter.

The meeting I was going to go to was the ICAN meeting and guess what the topic is….Postpartum depression.  I don’t know if my feelings are from PPD or just being sad that we are moving and I caused all of this because I hated my job and wanted to be at home with my kids.  I don’t regret leaving my job but I hate being the one to blame.  It’s all my fucking fault.

Photo on 1-8-13 at 4.25 PM


2 thoughts on “My fault

    thevfamily said:
    January 21, 2013 at 11:04 pm

    I am just now reading this! I truly hope you are not still blaming yourself for all of those things. You are an amazing woman, and I don’t like you knocking yourself like that!

      lahancock responded:
      January 21, 2013 at 11:06 pm

      I should not be aloud to blog when I haven’t slept very well. 🙂 I’ve learned my lesson. Those gloom and doom feelings do creep up here and there but I’m doing better now.

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