I preach to every mom that inquires: Doulas Are Priceless! However, Dads are not doulas….no matter how much a mom thinks he will be (unless of course he has been to a few births and understands the normal stages of birth and how to support the mom.)
It is a lot of pressure to expect Dad to fill a new role as doula when his role is husband and father. He already has a job. To provide support to his wife as the husband. My husband has been a great support during my last three births, but only one did he have to preform as a doula because there was no one else there to help. I’m so thankful that he learned how to apply proper counter pressure and hip squeezes during the first birth from one of our midwife’s apprentices. On the third birth, a friend was there acting as friend/doula and I really appreciated her presence because it allowed my husband to just be my husband. And, said friend also took some great photos that I will treasure forever.
Our birth attendants have been so far:
1st Birth: Midwife, 2 apprentices, husband
2nd Birth: husband
3rd Birth: Midwife, 1 apprentice, husband, doula, doula’s daughter (helped with my older two kids), my Mom (helped with older two kids)
Now, preparing for our fourth birth, I’m struggling with the decision. Do I hire a doula? In Chattanooga, I had a great group of friends in the birth world. Here in Nashville, I know lots of people but don’t call many of the birth doulas true friends yet. With three other kids that will be in attendance for the birth, I know I will probably need some additional birth support. It is just hard trusting another person to come into a very personal and private birth space. It is also difficult for me to spend the money on myself for a doula. Doulas are very much worth the money that they charge, I just need to find a way to work it all into the birth budget if I make myself a priority. I don’t expect my midwife, to be a doula. Her job is to keep me and baby safe during the birth, staying present in the moment and alert.
I also need someone who is familiar with Hypnobabies and trusts that using self-hypnosis for birth works amazingly well when you have a mom that has practiced diligently and has people surrounding her that are 100% on board with the mom’s birth preferences.
I really wish I had a few of my birthy friends here…Amy Poarch, Rachel Jimenez, Michelle Ray, Julie Byers, Katherine Stanglin, or Brenna Reynolds.
But alas, I need to expand my comfort zone perhaps and make new doula friends. Perhaps I should just ask my amazing great-aunt, Beulah “the doula” Kyle what her rates are, I’m not sure I can afford her awesomeness. Anyone have a great hypno-doula they could recommend?