My mind has been swirling with thoughts from yesterday’s post. The post was not inspired by one incident, but many, many interactions with women. I don’t hear the same comments from men on their bodies.
Can you imagine these comments coming from a man? Would you say these things to describe another woman, or only yourself?
“I hate the way these pants make my butt look.”
“Ugh, I hate my face.”
“I can’t wear that, it makes me look fat.”
“Oh, look at that picture, why don’t I look like that now.”
“No, don’t look at the scale.”
“I hate my skin.”
“I hate my face.”
“My nose is too big.”
“My things are too big.”
“My feet are ugly.”
“My nose is crooked.”
“My teeth are too yellow.”
“I can’t wear a two piece, my stretch marks are horrible.”
“My hair is a wreck.”
“Look at my awful arms, they jiggle too much.”
“My mid-section looks like a can of dough about to burst.”
“I can only wear this if I wear an undergarment to hide my rolls.”
Ladies. My body is not supermodel quality. Heck, supermodel’s bodies are not supermodel quality. We live in an airbrushed, filtered world where everyone alters their images. Yesterday’s picture was not my favorite when I first saw it. The angle, the lighting…at first, I wanted to delete it too. Then I looked at it. I saw my own smile. It is my true smile. I saw the creases around my eyes, my laugh lines. I saw my toothy and crooked, gummy grin and I know in that moment I was happy. My “image” is not perfect, whatever perfect means. I know that if I stay in the negative head space, repeating whatever negative self-talk that might be there, it won’t lift me up.
When I am around other women, I hear them negatively talk about their bodies. It happens in nearly every day conversation. They grab the extra skin around their middle, and shake it with disdain. They struggle with breasts that have migrated to their middles. Many, many years ago, they were four to five inches higher, but pregnancy, gravity, life has caused them to settle into a new and different shape. They pull at their skin on their face and stretch it back to reveal someone, something…
Women are unhappy. Living in a skin that they so badly want to change. I get the desire for change. I want to be stronger. I want to be healthier. I want to live a long time. And none of those things have to do with being a specific image. The self-loathing and hate that spews from women’s mouths is sad and discouraging. Why have so many chosen to hate parts of themselves? What happened in your past to cause you the hurt? I pray that anyone that needs it, realizes that a key to “beauty,” is changing their perception about themselves. Confidence=beauty in my mind. A woman that speaks positively about herself, about her intelligence, about her body is beautiful.